I want to take this time and share with you a hilarious moment that happened in Seattle.

All six of us wanted to take a cute group picture sitting on a wooden rail.

But we broke it.

If you are a reader of my mom's blog, or someone who has recently been within earshot of me, you will know that I got into UNT's graduate school. Yessss! I was a bit nervous about it. So, for the next two years I will work on getting a Masters in Art Education, to prepare me to teach art. Right now I'm thinking I'll want to do high school, but we'll see. I can move around.

So that's a relief. I'm really happy now that I have a definite answer when people ask me what I am going to do after graduation. That's a really common question nowadays. I used to hate that question, but now I'm ready for it.

Being apart of this program will also force me to work on some art myself. I feel like I have the potential to be alright in doing art, but I have kind of been afraid of it. That's part of the reason why I majored in Art History and not studio art--Art History sounded a little safer, I could hide behind books and learn about other artists instead of being one myself. This program though, will require me to take twelve hours of more studio art classes (I have taken twelve already, as a requirement for a Art History degree), so it'll force me to explore that part of myself more. I'm excited for the challenge.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

This morning, I groggily poured myself some cereal and got out my milk and noticed . . . that my milk was a bluish greenish color. I was so perplexed. It wasn't old and it smelled okay, so I shrugged and poured it over my cereal. I then opened my mango juice and noticed that was green too. But it also smelled and tasted fine. That's when I remembered the conversation I had last night with my roommate Elise . . . .

St. Patrick's Day is Elise's favorite holiday. Growing up, her mom got really into it and made green cupcakes, put green feet everywhere (?), had a scavenger hunt for her kids to find the hidden pot of gold, and dyed everything green (from the toilet water to the milk). So Elise had been sneaky and dyed all our things green! She also made green cupcakes (without refined sugar, since she and Tinsley gave up refined sugar for lent)

I'm wearing green striped pants too. Hope you've got on green!

Back from Seattle! Back into class. I really didn't want to go this morning; last week was really great. I'm not in the mood to be really wordy right now, but here are links to two albums I posted on facebook. Just click on the album titles below.
spring break seattle
spring break seattle 2

Man oh man, I am already on the eve of Spring Break! There is just one class away from myself and it. Tomorrow me and a handful of my closest of friends will drive to Houston, and tomorrow morning we will fly to Seattle. Yeehaa! I'm stoked. I have never really traveled with this group of girls before, though I have lived with them for three years. The girls include: Claire, Elise, Melissa, Rachael, and we will see Jenny up there. Hopefully my Florentine pal Hannah will make a guest appearance as well.

I have never been to that part of the country, the upper western corner, so I am pretty excited. But I am more excited about sharing this adventure with the aforementioned people. Melissa and I are seasoned travelers together, but the rest I haven't traveled with (I know I just said that, it just felt good to put it here too).

We also hope to venture up to Vancouver for a couple of days. Stay at a hostel. Canada is cool, eh? How aboot it?

One challenge is that, since there are so many girls that will be crashing in Elise's brother's apartment, we are limiting ourselves to very little luggage. As in we are not checking any bags. I am going to try to fit everything in one backpack, and my purse. This could prove difficult since the weather will be cold and that requires layers. Further, I would like to bring my laptop as I have some school work to get done while I am there. Laptops take up room. We will see how this goes . . . Should be a fun challenge.

Either way, I'm excited!

Ryan and I found a turtle today. We were riding our bikes on campus and saw on the sidewalk a little baby turtle making it's way towards the science building. It was odd because there wasn't much water around. Perhaps a bird dropped him. His little scrunched up face reminded me of Yoda, so I deemed him Yoda. We contemplated taking him home, but decided to let him free in his natural habitat instead. So we picked him up and walked him to the river/creek that runs through campus. He really came to life in my hands and was crawling all over the place. He especially got excited when we neared the water. Maybe turtles can smell water? We set him free by the water's edge and he hastily scampered in and began swimming away. It was sad to see him go. The river is so big and little Yoda is so small. I hope he is okay.

Yes, finally no more clouds. Today looks like it will be a nice one. Carrying around a jacket can be so cumbersome, so hopefully I can get by with my cardigan.

In the mean time, here are some pictures, fresh off the presses:
Claire and I doing the splits at her fourth-grade themed Birthday Party

The party was crashed for being too loud by our friendly neighborhood security guards. (Luckily there was no alcohol, or else we would have been in a lot more trouble. Fourth graders don't drink alcohol. We told them that there was no alcohol though, and they didn't believe us. We were having too much fun I guess. The one person who was under 21 had to take a breathe-a-lizer test. Poor girl. She passed of course.)

I had to make a self-portrait for my History of the Modern Self Portrait class. Yes, that is my real hair, I saved it from the last time I cut it. You never know when hair will come in handy.

Me and my Valentine at our Valentine's Day picnic


So there's that. Off to class.

Man, this issue about women and Christianity sure did rack up the comments. Thanks for everyone's feedback--anonymous and not.

I love lazy Saturday mornings. I'm sitting at the kitchen table with Ryan and Claire. Ryan is studying and Claire is eating breakfast and playing with my magnetic sculpture people (thanks Santa!)

Happy Valentine's Day! We have been eating a receiving lots of sweet goodies all week because of the occasion. Also because it was Claire's birthday Wednesday.

Okay on to my day.

First here is a picture of my Valentine:

1 Timothy 2:12-15

12I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 13For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

Galatians 3:28

28There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

1 Corinthians 14:34-35

34women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. 35If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.

John 4:21-26; 39

21Jesus declared, "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. . . 24God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."
25The woman said, "I know that Messiah" (called Christ) "is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us."
26Then Jesus declared, "I who speak to you am he. . ."
39Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman's testimony . . ."

I know it's unfair to give you verses outside of their context, but you can look them up more if you are curious (NIV). This is some of the stuff we have been wrestling with in class--the writings of Paul and the life of Jesus, how to reconcile seemingly opposing messages.

Did you know that when women were trying to get the right to vote, many used verses like 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 to argue against it? A vote is a voice, and women are to be silent.

According to 1 Timothy 2:15 I'm not saved because I don't have children.

It's problematic to take all of literal scripture as eternal truth. I believe there is eternal truth in scripture, but it is oftentimes below the surface.

I have a test in this tomorrow, that's why it's on my mind. I could keep going and going but I probably shouldn't. I have class anyhow.

I'm at my little cubicle in the art building, being a TA. It smells like burnt plastic. PU. It reminds me of the smell of perms. When I was younger I really wanted curly hair and would get perms (that would last about a week). Later, like in middle school, I got a perm because I wanted to be like Felicity.

Ah hair. My hair has been burned, dyed, fried, straightened, and curled. Since I've been a Baylor though, I have let it be how it wants. Freshman year I continued to straighten my hair (which is silly because it is already relatively straight). The summer of freshman year, while working at Sky Ranch, I had the revelation that I didn't have to brush my hair, I could just let it be free. And why was everyone so deathly afraid of split ends? Split ends don't affect my quality of life. Since then I have had a pretty healthy relationship with my hair, I think. I usually let it be how it wants, unless there is a special occasion I need to tame it for. I've also taken to cutting it myself, which is pretty liberating and fulfilling.

So there's that. I don't know where that all came from.

Something that has been in my mind a lot this semester is the issue of biblical gender equality. I'm in a Women in Christian History class, and this has led to lots of dicussion about how to interpret what the bible says about women and how that has been misunderstood and applied for most of church history. I've also talked to people who are confused about the issue or uncomfortable using the words "Christian" and "Feminism
together (I can understand that. Feminism is a loaded term). I've stumbled across some cool websites on the topic. Just now, I've discovered the Christians for Biblical Equality's (CBE) website. You should check it out and see what they have to say.

I liked what Shane Claiborne had to say about the organization:

“This is beautiful work--simple, genuine, redemptive. It shouldn't seem radical... but it is. It shouldn't even be necessary to say 'men and women are equal...' but it is. Hopefully in another ten years, the saints of CBE will end gender inequality and put themselves out of jobs. Until then, may we all live in discomfort amid a booming choir of white men, while the church is pregnant with women who are ready to lead and write and preach but still get funny looks or cold shoulders.”

I have a lunch date with Linh I have to get to now. Let me know what you think.

It's been awhile, I know I know, but here I am. I'm sitting at the breakfast table, but it's certainly not breakfast time. I'm actually a little sleepy (it's ten pm). There seems to be a battle going on in the clouds (lightning). Whoa, and I just heard some thunder that sounded like canon shots. This has nixed my plans to go hot tubbing with Elise (see post below).

Yesterday marked the six month-aversary of Ryan and I (see below).

I'm not usually one to celebrate month-aversaries, but I think six is a notable one. So Ryan took me out to a nice dinner in Dallas and I took Ryan to see a movie. We aren't usually dinner-and-a-movie people so it was special.

That's all I feel like writing for now.

My roommate Elise got a typewriter for Christmas. She was playing on it over break and wrote us (me and my other roommates) this quirky and inspiring letter (she's a pretty quirky one herself). I enjoyed it and wanted to share.

So the GRE is over and I did better than I had thought I would. Go me!!

Classes started today. I have been to two and have one more in thirty minutes. So far so good.

I've also worked towards one of my new years resolutions today. When I was at Garden of the Gods in Colorado, I saw a bunch of people rock climbing and thought it looked really fun and wished I could too. So I thought . . . why don't I? I have free access to a great rock wall at Baylor that I had only climbed once. That is a travesty; I resolved to utilize it more. So today after working I went all by myself (before I could change my mind) to the student life center and climbed the rock wall one and a half times. The first time up was easy, so I then tried a harder route that I gave up on in the middle. I can already tell my forearms are going to be sore. Hopefully I'll go again Wednesday to give it another go. Go me!!

So that's a little update. I have to get ready for my next class--it's an art history class about modern self portraits. Should be cool.

And Caroline--when I upload it I just click the largest option and they turn out that big.

that I should be studying for. I take the GRE on Saturday. I'm pretty tired of studying for it though.

Here are a couple pictures from my trip, not taken by me. I still haven't uploaded mine because I've been too lazy. My cord is all the way upstairs and I'm all the way downstairs . . .

We took a tour of the Celestial Seasonings factory/headquarters in Boulder and got some free tea in the process. I'm drinking mine right now--green tea with honey lemon ginseng. Yum! (L to R: Whitney, Hannah, Vanessa, Melissa, Me, Christy)

We played and had a picnic at Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs

This is our band pic (at the picnic).

Went tubing down some hills in the mountains.



That's enough pictures for now. Maybe eventually I'll put up some of my own, but you get the idea.

I'm going to study now. Wish me luck!

Well I'm back from Denver. It was a fun trip and a wonderful reunion with my Florence peeps. There was snow and art and good friends and laughter and air mattresses and Family Guy and drag queens and fireworks and mountains and fondue. Good times abounded. My Florence crew and I have decided that next we would do Texas. Most of them haven't been to the lone star state, so Melissa and I are going to give them a tour of it this summer. The tentative plan is to have them fly into Dallas, see some sights here, then road trip town 35 through Waco, Austin, and end up in Houston (where Melissa is from). I'm stoked. Have any suggestions for must sees?

In other big news, today is my mom's birthday


I decorated our tree for her. I consider it quite an honor, since she is the one always decorating it for other people.

Happy Birthday Momma! I love you!

I'm in Denver right now, sitting at a Panera with Whitney and Melissa. I don't remember if I've mentioned this, but I'm in Colorado until next Tuesday to hang out with some of my Florence roommates. We are staying at Whitney's apartment in downtown Denver. Two more of us--Vanessa and Hannah--are still in her apartment upstairs. She doesn't have internet so we're bumming off of Panera.

It's fun being here and together again, like we haven't left each other. I had a scare with my luggage, but the airport delivered it to the apartment at one am last night. It woke me up, but I was super thankful.

We're about to tackle the day (it's mountain time and on hour behind Texas, so it's 10:30).

I'm hanging out with these people minus two (it's us in Vienna last fall, minus me who is behind the camera).

Well, my stomach did not get to feeling better last night (see last post). It in fact tortured me all night. Our plans to go to the The Cheesecake Factory and a movie were altered and instead we went home and I threw up eight times. My digestive tract attempted mutiny and tried to jump ship.

My stomach doesn't hurt anymore. I'm nibbling on some Apple Cinnamon Bread and still feeling pretty weak. But I've lived to see today.

Must have been a 24 hour bug of some sort. I hope you don't get it. And I hope and pray that Ryan and my family don't get it. Ryan was by my side through it all, by the way. And we still got to exchange Christmas presents. And it was still special.

And my stomach lives to see another day.

'Tis the day after Christmas, and my stomach hurts really bad. Sorry, I've logged on, intending to write a post, and all I can think about is how much my stomach hurts. asdkfjieenfanvc.

I bought a fish aquarium today, because one of my Christmas presents is some new friends--some fish. I'm going to get some specialty goldfish. For instance (oh man my stomach hurts):

Calico Shubunkin Goldfish

Calico Ryukin Goldfish

Black Moor Goldfish

I'll probably include some snails and live plants too. Unfortunately I have to wait until I get back to Waco to get the aquarium started, as it would be difficult to travel with them.

Bleh, That's all I've got. I can't concentrate on this.  Hopefully I feel better soon because I have a hot date tonight.

I'm in day three of my wisdom teeth recovery. I am at the peak of my swollen-ness. Exhibit A:

Curiously, it is only my left check that is noticeably swollen. Like I've gotten punched in the face.

Speaking of getting punched in the face, I watched "The Hurricane" last night with Allison.
I was a bit wary about it at first, because it is 2 and a half hours long, but by the time I realized there was only one hour left, I was actually pretty disappointed. I wanted more Hurricane. It's a good movie, with kind of three stories in one, and it keeps you riveted. I'd suggest it.

Earlier, when I meant to type "It's a good movie" I typed "It's a good morning." I figure it was a Freudian slip, because it actually is a good morning. I woke up at ten to soft piano Christmas music. Then my mom made me oatmeal. It's cold outside apparently, but I feel cozy and warm in my house. I love Christmas break. This is a such a needed one. This has been one of my hardest semesters, academically, but I've pulled through and am pretty proud. I don't think I've written so many papers or done so many presentations in one semester. And I've applied to at least one grad school, so that's something. I at least have one step into the future attempted.

I'm excited about this new day. Thanks everyone, for taking care of me. For bringing me milkshakes, making me oatmeal, watching movies with me, going to multiple restaurants in search of egg drop soup. It's good to be weak sometimes, to be reminded how much we need other people to make us strong.

I am now on the other side, sans wisdom teeth. It was not bad at all, and my recovery it going well. It actually turned out to be a really fun day. Friends and family were in and out; we watched movies and ate milkshakes and talked. I'm not super swollen. See (taken just now)

We had a Christmas movie extravaganza. We watched "It's a Wonderful Life," "A Muppet Christmas Carol," and "White Christmas" which I had not seen. I think my favorite of the three was "It's a Wonderful Life." Other Christmas movies I enjoy include but are not limited to -- "A Christmas Story" and "Love Actually." What is your favorite Christmas movie?

And Ryan was by my side the whole time, making sure I was taking my meds and taking care of me. (taken by my phone only hours after the wisdom teeth extraction)


Thanks.

I have really enjoyed being at home. I'm pretty much finished with my Christmas shopping, so that has taken some stress away, though I'm taking the GRE January 10th, so that adds a healthy dose of stress and keeps me occupied. I don't remember barely anything about math :/

I'm done! My exams are over. Allison is here. It SNOWED today. Life is good.

Here is a picture of me walking to my final this morning.


Just kidding. Allison drove me.

I've been tagged. I'm supposed to tell you six interesting facts about myself and tag six other people. So here they are, whether or not they are interesting (compiled with the help of Ryan and Claire) . . .

-I'm getting my wisdom teeth out this Friday
-my middle name is katherine
-i haven't shaved my legs in seven weeks
-i have a manly "hummer" phone because i always drop my phones and break them.
-my ancestors started a town-Carmack, Yukon- and started the Gold Rush of 1890s
-i can stand on my head

And now I tag

Claire
John
Rob
Christy
Allison
Melyssa

to do the same.


I have 3 tests down and 2 to go. I'll return to Colleyville on Wednesday. See some of you there! See others of you here.

Today is dead. Yesterday was dead. Tomorrow is finals.

And yesterday I got to experience snow! Or, more accurately, a "wintery mix."

I'm studying at my kitchen table with Elise. Here is a picture of my view that I took on my phone.


I took it like two seconds ago and sent it to my laptop via bluetooth. Amazing! We are living in the future!
Elise doesn't like this picture. Sorry Elise. Life is tough and hard to understand sometimes.

So yes. Dead days. They are making me a bit stir crazy. I have a test at 9 am tomorrow and am pretty tired of studying for it. Maybe I just won't study for it anymore. We'll see.

I have made a decisive step towards my future (I went to Pei Wei tonight and a fortune cookie told me to do something like that . . . something about making decisions and being assertive. . .). I have applied for the Art Education Masters program at UNT. I sent in the application, fee, letter of intent, writing sample, transcript and all I have left is letters of recommendation and GRE scores. Phew. Applying for things isn't so bad. You just have to do it. And I did. I feel I have some momentum now and should research other grad options. That sounds like a wonderful way to procrastinate . . .

I'm at the library and have been for a couple hours. I don't usually study at the library, usually I'm at my apartment or at a coffee shop. The library is kind of nice though. Everyone is studying. We're all in this together--that is the feeling I get when studying here.

There is one more day of classes. That's madness! Kind of. Time goes fast, but we always seem to forget that. Very rarely do we reach the end of a semester and say "Man. That semester was so slow!" Nope. It's always really fast. So if it's always fast, then it's not fast, it's just normal. Fast is the quickening of a normal pace of things. I think we just don't understand time.

Let's see . . . something else interesting.

Went to Austin yesterday. Checked out some sweet contemporary art with my art history peeps. We met Patrick:


He was made in 2004 by Oliver Herring and is a collage of hundreds of photographs taken of a guy named Patrick and then glued together as a collage image of his body. Crazy! And it's a sculpture. Didn't know if that was clear or not.

I have this song in my head


It's Joanna Newsom's "Sprout and Bean."

Thanksgiving week is over and I'm back in Waco. It was a really fabulous week. It's good to be back in Waco because of my wonderful family of friends and roommates, but I have lots of school work to do. For that reason I wasn't super stoked about coming back.

But it'll get done. I always have lots of school work to do. That's life right now.
So I'm drinking black tea and eating cereal at my kitchen table. The sun just rose
And now I have to get ready and go work.

Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm sitting on my couch in watching the Thanksgiving Day parade.
A high school band from California is playing a song from West Side Story, which is pretty awesome.
It's good being home.

That's all I got.

Hello friends, family, and stalkers. The last time I posted I included a picture of me cutting Ryan's hair, and now it is almost time to cut it again! Oh dear.

His birthday was last week and we went to the Nasher Sculpture Center . . .

We did other exciting things, but that is all that I have pictures of. I took lots of pictures there. I like art. I also like feminism. Both are often times misunderstood and I find myself having to explain my interests to my friends a lot. I like it though. Today I presented in my Philosophy and the Arts class over Feminism and Postmodernism. It went pretty well; you should have been there. I'm thinking of going on a lecture circuit. People should pay to see me talk about Feminism and Postmodernism. People need to know.

Just kidding.

Kind of.

This past weekend was Steppin' Out, which is a Baylor tradition which involves students' participation in service projects around Waco. Me and six of my friends did lawn work at a home for mentally impaired people (I don't know the PC term-mentally challenged? mentally handicapped? crazy people?). It was enjoyable, being outside and working. And doing it with people I enjoy to be around.

I trimmed hedges.

And now it is the week of Thanksgiving. Tomorrow I'll go back to Colleyville, where there will be food and love waiting for me. It'll be nice, but won't be without some studying. There is still a final hurdle before finals.

It's been awhile. But I'm not going to apologize. I feel like every time I write I need to apologize for how long it has been since I've written. Well, this blog is a luxury, not an obligation, so I will not apologize.

I was in poverty this weekend. For my Family: A Global Perspective class I had to do a poverty simulation through Mission Waco. So from Friday night to Sunday afternoon I lived like I was in poverty. That's all I can tell you about it. Part of the learning comes from not knowing what is going to happen, so I can't tell you what happened for fear that someone out there reading this will someday go through it and know all about it. Maybe I'll tell you if you ask me in person.

People keep asking me how it made me "feel" and I still just don't know. Last night Rachael asked me how I felt and I told her I had a headache. I don't think that's what she was looking for. I just didn't know what else to say. I'm debriefing still. I have a reflection paper about it due on Friday so hopefully I will know by then. I'll let you know.

I also took out my nose ring. We had to remove all jewelry for the poverty sim and so I took it out for the first time since last October. I had some trouble getting it back in yesterday, so i just decided to leave it out. I had it for over a year. It ran its course. No one has really even noticed, not even my roommates, so it obviously wasn't that big of a deal.

And then a nice boy came down from Dallas and made me a yummy pasta/lasagna dish for dinner.

I have a test tonight and one tomorrow morning, and as I was poor all weekend, I couldn't study for them. So I skipped my classes this morning to study. Now I'm just going to chill until my 5:45 test. I feel okay about it and just want to get it over with.

So those are some quick updates. I'm kind of tired right now and it's kind of dreary outside and I feel like that is showing up in how I'm writing today.

Here is a picture of me cutting the aforementioned boy's hair a few weekends ago. You can see my nose ring (may she rest in peace).

And now I will heat up some of his leftover pasta/lasagna dish.

I have been eating a lot healthier since I've been in college. My veggie-loving roommates have been a good influence on me. Before, I didn't even like lettuce, let alone things like tomatoes and mushrooms, but now I love most vegetables. And thanks to the World Hunger Farm I now know and love all sorts of veggies that I'd never heard of before--like swiss chard, liana beans, and kale.

All that to say that my stomach has gotten used to healthy foods. Today for lunch I went to Vitex with Rob and John and I got their famous "gut pack." My stomach is kind of mad it me for that now. It is not used such large quantities of barbecue sauce and fritos. I appreciated the Waco experience, but it's nothing something I will be eating everyday.

Vitex also has Dublin Dr. Pepper, which is amazing.

Performing at Common Grounds last night was really fun. Elise and I had good rapport on stage and charmed the audience with our banter and musical prowess. Be looking for our names on a marquee near you!

I have a headache :/ Maybe because too much Dublin DP and not enough water.

Tonight I and my roommate Elise will be performing at Common Ground's open mic night. She has a djembe and I have a guitar and tonight they will make sweet music together. Or sad music. Or angry music. Or funny music. Depending on the song. We are going to leave in like seven minutes.

The funny thing is that my voice is still not all the way back (see last post) so I'm all sexy and raspy (which reminds me of an episode of Friends. Anyone?).

It'll be good. I've done open mic there before (we get thirty whole minutes all to ourselves!) and it'll be nice to have someone else up there with me. Next time, Linh will hopefully join us, who plays piano.

Ok, gonna pack up.

I'm cold. And my lungs hurt. But here's another picture from Long Island. It's our shadows at the beach. I'm the one with my leg sticking out.

Questions? Comments? How ya feelin?

Long Island was a good time. Lots of museums and driving and gravesites and art and autumn. For example.

(a detail of a painting by Lee Krasner)

(a mustache cup in the Whaling Museum of the town of Sag Harbor)

(and we got to dip our toes in the sand a.k.a. my only picture of the whole group)




Interesting things were learned and I'm glad I went. I was ready to come back though, because it wasn't exactly restful.

Now I have a paper due next week and one this week and I'm off running.

Ok, here are some hair cutting picks, most taken by Rachael [see last post for the story]:

Now for the hair . . .





Not a bad job, huh?

Today is Canada's Thanksgiving, according to my Mom's blog. Good for them. Way to be, Canada.

My hair is now about three inches shorter, falling to about my chin or a little lower than my chin (depending on the humidity). I cut it yesterday afternoon, and by that I mean that I myself cut my hair in my bathroom with my scissors. It was very exciting and spontaneous. Ryan helped, and I have some pictures that I'll post later ( I'm in the library right now). I like it though. I'm pretty proud of myself. I saved about twenty dollars and had fun doing it. I was encouraged by both India Arie and Regina Spektor. India says, "I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am not your expectations-no. I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within," and Regina tells me "Maybe you should cut your own hair, cause that can be so funny. It doesn't cost any money and it always grows back (hair grows even after you're dead . . ." Thanks ladies. And thanks Ryan.

And so it is Monday.
And so I didn't go to my first class and studied instead for a test tomorrow (and wrote in my blog).
And so I need to leave now to go to my Philosophy class.

And I leave Wednesday for Long Island.

I'm at work right now and I have nothing to do. It's a pretty frustrating situation. I'm here, I showed up, there's nothing on my desk to do, and my professor isn't around to tell me anything to do. The professor I TA for is probably at lunch and the only thing I can do now is wait around for him to come back to see if he has anything for me to do. Until then here I am, writing on my blog. Thankfully I work in a cubicle so no on can see me doing this. To everyone else in the Audio Visual Resource Center in which I work, I just sound like I'm working, typing away on the computer.

I also take attendance for another professor's class. Her TA is in class, so I took her attendance taking job. The class has almost 200 students, and I walk up and down the rows, marking on my paper who is absent. It is quite a fun place of power, walking with my clipboard. When I walk by students hide their cell phones on which they are sending text messages and click out of the window on their computer on which they are playing Solitaire or looking at pictures on Facebook. I couldn't care less what they are doing, but it's fun that they think that I do care

My Mom came and surprised me in Waco today. We sat on campus and chatted and are going to get dinner together this evening. That's a fun surprise.

I'm writing a paper on Thomas Moran. He is a 19th century American landscape painter. It is largely because of his sketches and watercolors of Yellowstone that the area was set aside as our first national park. Such as

I think that's pretty interesting.

I know that's kind of belated, but I haven't written since it has been October. I feel a well wishing should be said
I haven't written much in my paper journal either, so don't feel too neglected. Instead I've been writing papers for class, journals for philosophy, notes for American Art. That sort of thing.
I've found that the first half of my week is usually pretty stressful and I frantically fly about, trying to accomplish everything. But by Wednesday, I either stop caring or I have less to do and then the rest of my week is pretty chill. That is how it has been pretty much every week.
It's so nice right now to write something I'm not going to be graded on. Not in a quantitative sense anyway. I'm sure you're still all grading and judging what I'm writing, deciding how and if you want to respond
My first round of tests is still not over. I have Contemporary Art and Philosophy and the Arts next week.

I'm wearing a ring today that I forgot I owned. It's a glass ring that I bought in Venice. Venice is famous for its glass products, and I chose a blue ring to remind me of the waters of Venice. There are also slight waves in the surface of the ring and gold flecks amidst the blue to signify waves.

Thar she is. The gold rings next to it are birthday gifts from Allison.
I should write blurbs for jewelry catalogs or something, huh?

Enough about rings; how are you?

I'll take a brief break from studying to share with you for a sec. A tombstone we studied in my American Art class had a poem on it that I like. I don't mean this to be morbid, I'm just studying for that class at this moment and . .I don't know . . I just like it. Deal with it. Sometimes I'm morbid.

"Adieu, my friend forever ever gone,
Her happy soul has put full glory on.
The tendrest ties could never her detain
But O our loss is her most happy gain.
Gentle her manners were, her tastes refined
Her speech sincere and open as her heart
Her conversation did delight impart.
Though young she listened to the voice of truth
And trod a savior’s steps in early youth.
Calm and serene she yielded up her breath
And even triumphed at the approach of death.

Sacred to the memory of Miss Mercy Jones
Who died April 7, 1805
Aged 20 years & 6 months"

And one more thing--Friday I went to an Ani Difranco concert with two of my favorite males in my life (Will and Ryan, brother and boyfriend, respectively). I have never smiled so much at a concert in my life. It is so fun to watch Ani rock out.

Rock on.

Okay. I guess I'll make another blog post. I haven't really felt like doing these lately. I think it's just because I've been busy doing other things. Like reading for my Philosophy class, which is really what I should be doing now. I'm at Common Grounds and I just can't concentrate on it. I couldn't at home either. I guess it's not my environment. I guess it's just me.

That sounds depressing but it's really not. I really just can't concentrate.

There are a bunch of high school girls here and they are ridiculous. They are leaving now. They wrote all over themselves with sharpies. Typical.

22 is a long way away from high school.

Ok, let's say something new and interesting. I've gotten a lot better at talking on the phone. That's not really interesting, but it's new. And I don't think I want to go to Thailand anymore. I just wanted a plan, any sort of plan, and so I latched on to that one for a week or so. But I don't want to be in Thailand for a year. I refuse to freak out about post-grad plans though. I don't want to waste my senior freaking out. I keep waiting for something to just fall out of the sky and knock me in the head and feel like the exact right thing to do. Oh yeah, I forgot I had an epiphany today. My epiphany was--of course I don't know what I want to do. Outside of school, I haven't really experienced much. How can I know what I want to do if I haven't done anything? So in my epiphany I told myself to just do something. Just try something. Unless the prefect thing happens to fall out of the sky, I'll just try other things until it feels right.

Back to Philosophy

Yes, this is my second post in one day.

My good friend Bailey once alerted me to the fact that I frequently have typos in my blog posts. I acted offended at the time, but I'm sure she is right. I even re-read my posts about three times but typos continue to sneak through. The reason I'm saying this now is I just re-read an email I sent to my Philosophy teacher earlier today:

"I have changed my mind concerning my paper topic. I was reading an article in Art News about "shock art" and now would like my paper to be trying to answer whether or now a specific piece of "shock art" is actually art, and use one more of the theories we talk about in class to define it. How does that sounds? And would the work of art I choose be the primary source?"

There are three blaring typos! And perhaps more. That's frustrating.

So I apologize for future mishaps.

I really enjoy wearing hats, but don't always have the guts to wear them. I decided today to get over it. And I'm wearing a hat. A bright red hat that I bought in Florence and wore frequently throughout Europe. I'm wearing it and you can't stop me. I'm wearing it instead of washing my hair.

I'm at the SUB, moments away from my first class of the week. I didn't read for it, which isn't a big deal, and I didn't read for the class after that, which is kind of a big deal, and I'm pretty ok with that. I had a mini freak out yesterday over everything I had to do and so decided just not to do some of it. It wouldn't be the end of the world. I felt instantly better. School isn't who I am. It's an important part of my life right now, but it doesn't have to make or break it. You know?

I've been looking more into this Thailand thing. I've gotten Elise and Claire intrigued too. That would be so fun to have one or both of them there with me, if I were to go there.

I was really excited about my Philosophy and the Arts class, but now I feel more ambivalent towards the subject. Even throughout one class, I go back and forth from thinking that what we are discussing (namely, the question of how to define art) is really interesting and valuable, to thinking it is a pretentious waste of time. There is no answer. What is art? is a question that can't be successfully answered. And we talk on and on about it just to hear ourselves talk.

It is important to know what is art though, I think, so that we can know how to respond to an object. If you know you are looking at an artwork, you scrutinize it, search for its meaning, measure its beauty, which is different then say, if you were merely look at a chair. You just sit in the chair.

And I'm tired of reading about this.

Marcel Duchamp's Fountain. Duchamp bought a urinal, signed it "R.Mutt" and then put in a gallery, calling it art. It's valuable in that it forced everyone to rethink their definition of art. Is art art because the artist intends it to be? It is so because of its context within the "art world"? (Don't even get me started on the so-called "art world." I think the art world should be the whole world . . .) So it's interesting, it's just talked about a lot so I'm tired of it.

I really do enjoy the class, I'm just venting. I think mainly I'm frustrated with Philosophy students who like to hear themselves talk and who throw around names like Nietzche and Aristotle like they're candy. And then I have no idea what they are talking about.

It also feels good to complain, because then you get to feel above all the people you complain about. Which is probably why Jesus tells us to "Do everything without complaining or arguing . . ."

Speaking of me wanting the whole world to be the art world, recently I've been throwing the idea around in my mind of maybe someday teaching art in a high school setting. You know, spreading the good news of art. Art therapy is also intriguing, though I know nothing about it. Maybe that could be before or after teaching English in a Thai setting . . .?

Wow. This past week has felt like three. I've enjoyed it, but it has been long. And I'm excited for this three day weekend.

Here's me in my cubicle

I'm really important. I have a cubicle. I like the word cubicle. It's like the word cuticle, but rounder.

I enjoy having lots of time in the morning. When my alarm goes off I may not think it's a good idea, but I do as I then get to leisurely eat breakfast, get ready, perhaps write on my blog . . .?

Leisurely is a tricky word to spell. That sure doesn't look like a word.

For about ten minutes yesterday I decided that after graduation I would move to Thailand and teach English. (The head of the Gender Studies department is also really connected with Thailand and has arranged it so Baylor graduates can go over there for a year--May to March--to teach English. She is best buds with the Thai royal family.) For about ten minutes the day before I decided I would do Teach For America (Claire was talking about it). Who knows what I will decide to do today. Or next May for that matter.

My coffee is cold but I keep drinking it.

That is all.

(Hm. That could be the name of a band or song or book or something--Cold Coffee. Or this blog post. It has a nice rhythm.)

So I have had two days of classes. I find all of my classes interesting, so that is a major plus. As a reminder, I am taking

Family: A Global Prospective
Philosophy and the Arts
Contemporary Art
American Art
Intro to Gender Studies

Va bene. And I am working as a TA for an Art History professor. I started that job today, which mainly consisted of making copies and typing up attendance sheets. I wasted a lot of paper in trying to figure out the monster copy machine and wasted a lot of time trying to figure out Excel. It's cool though. I have my own cubicle with my own iMac next to Melissa's own cubicle and own iMac, and she is a pro and so I ask her important questions like how to turn my computer on. (When I was being shown my cubicle by one of the faculty members I was like "Sure! I know Macs well! I have one." And then I couldn't figure out how to turn the thing on!)

Here are some interesting facts from my Families in Global and Multicultural Perspective book:

-"1.2 billion of the world's population is absolutely poor, defined as living on less than dollar a day . . . over 900 million, or 70% of the poor are women."
-"In April 2001, the Netherlands became the first country in the world to offer full, legal marriage to same-sex couples."
-"In most of the developing world, homosexuality is still considered a mental illness and is punishable by imprisonment and even death."
-"The US has the highest rate of lone-parent families among industrialized nations, with one third of families headed by a single parent"

Interesting stuff, no? You can now pull those facts out at parties and sound education and concerned.

I am reading The Lost Message of Jesus by Steven Chalke and it has given me some thoughts. This particular chapter deals with the idea of being "saved" and "born again." Those words tend to make me cringe a little, and I'm glad to see that they do so to Steven Chalke too. It reminds me of a time during counselor training at Sky Ranch. While waiting to train on the jet skis, one of my fellow counselors asked me how I became "saved" and I told him my schpeel. Then I asked for his. And he said "This morning, I woke up and asked God to save me." And he says he is saved everyday. And I think that is beautiful.

In this book Chalke points out that in the Bible, Jesus only uses the phrase "born-again" twice and that was within one conversation with one guy--Nicodemus. "And yet it has become the basis for one of the most confusing, misused and abused, misunderstood and despised ideas in the history of the church." The Jesus of the Bible was more interested in the ongoing process of salvation. We are already saved and are continually learning to become and act like saved people all our lives. He quotes a bishop of the Church of England who, when asked if he was saved, replied, "I have been saved, I am being saved, and one day I will be saved." Isn't that beautiful?

My room is beautiful now too. I'm not as satisfied, though, as I thought I would be now that I'm all unpacked. It's just my room. The same. I like it, but it's just a room.

Class starts tomorrow and everywhere was crazy today--church, campus, the bookstore, Wal-Mart. I quickly returned to the sanctuary of my apartment, which is where I am now, snuggled in the papasan in the corner or my room.

I'm sitting on the floor of my furniture-less room in Waco. Me and some of my gal pals painted it green yesterday, which was a lot of fun. I left some of the pink though, as you can see in this picture.

Yesterday, all four of my roommates came back (roommates=Rachael, Tinsley, Elise, and Claire)! There was much merriment, together again. We ate at Clay Pot while Elise regaled us with stories of her adventures in Italy and Lithuania, and we did the same with a our various Texan adventures. Tomorrow I will move my furniture in. I'm not looking forward to the process, but I am looking forward to being able to assemble my room and put everything away. I'm living out of a suitcase right now.

It's good to be back, and weird, and scarey, and comfortable, and the same, and different. I'm just here right now, let's just leave it at that. I don't have to label everything with an emotion. I can just be.

I had some trouble this morning paying attention to the sermon at church. My mind was preoccupied. After the sermon though, while the band was playing a David Crowder Band song--"The Glory of It All"-- people who had been hidden backstage came out one by one, each holding a handwritten cardboard sign. On the front of the sign was a short sentence of what happened in their life and/or heart before knowing Christ, and the back of the sign said how Christ changed things. It was really moving. The last one was an older woman, Julia's grandmother, whose sign first said "I committed my life to Christ 78 years ago" and the back said something like "and he has remained faithful." By the end of the "show" I was crying, and was kind of embarrassed by it, but then heard the sniffles of people around me and realized I wasn't the only one moved to tears. After the service the women's restroom was more crowded than I usually found it, with women still dabbing their eyes or reapplying makeup. It was all very moving. And it was people just simply saying what God meant to them, in black letters on a piece of cardboard.


In other news, I just took a "spiritual gift analysis." Basically it's a long quiz to assert what gifts God had has blessed me with. I have taken one before, in high school, and nowadays I'm honestly kind of wary of things like this. To quantitatively measure how God has blessed me. And also just the separating of "spiritual" gifts and "worldly" gifts. I don't like those lines. I believe God is in all my gifts and talents.

It reminds me of a poll I took a few years back. The question was "When do you like to spend time with God?" The answer choices were like "in the morning," "in the car," "in the evening," etc. I didn't like the question. I thought, "I want to spend every minute of my day with God."

Anywho, I took the Spiritual Gift test and failed. I have no spiritual gifts. Just kidding. My top two were hospitality and mercy. The hospitality one didn't surprise me, I've always enjoyed having people over to my house and such, but the mercy one did. Looking back at my life now though, I can see it. Like in the way I've never been really angry with someone. Even if I know I've been wronged or treated unfairly, I think to myself "I feel like I should be mad . . . but I'm not. Hm, weird," and go about my merry way. That's nice I guess. It's not an invitation for you people to walk all over me. I

Ok, Bailey and Will are here now so I'm going to end this.
It's over!
(as in this post, not my blog in general)

I woke up this morning and realized today was not my birthday. It was a little disappointing.

But yesterday was and now I'm 22. I don't think I have ever had such a fun-packed birthday. Thanks to everyone who participated. First there was Six Flags, then food, friends, family, and presents, then Main Event, which involved bowling, pool, and the aforementioned friends. It was a fun day, like I said.

I got three CDs from my brother and I'm in the process of putting them on my computer. Right now I'm listening to the Mamma Mia! soundtrack. As if I don't have that song in my head enough. Mamma mia, here I go again . . . I like it though. Thanks Will.

I think I will enjoy my 22nd year. 22 feels good.

And wow. I just saw that I took 101 pictures yesterday. Stay tuned for some of those maybe.

This past week has added to new members to the Carmack family. Little Mac Carmack (picture stolen from my mom's blog) . . .


And Mrs. Caroline Carmack (picture stolen from Linh's facebook). . .


So good! The wedding last night was great. I haven't been to the wedding of someone I know so well, one where a lot of my friends and family were present, and it was a lot of fun. A bit on the warm side, but really nice. And I love Caroline and happy she is now apart of my family.

It's Olympics time now, which means there is always something to watch on TV. I'm watching waterpolo right now. "Watching" = having it on in the background whilst I write on my blog and what not. Hungary vs. Montenegro.

Today Rob and Caroline go to Italy! What a honeymoon.

I just learned that the most common injury in Water Polo is a ruptured ear drum.

It has been a really good past couple of days. I was worried that I would get bored when I came home, but I've been pretty entertained. I've caught up with a lot of people, gotten to know others better, been to two concerts, and yesterday, I made quiche for my family. Today is an open book and we'll see where it takes me.

Speaking of books, the biography I'm reading of Muhammad is intriguing. Muhammad sounds like a good guy. The world islam simply means to surrender and Muhammad taught that that is was people should do--simply surrender to the will of Allah. Allah simply means God, and Muhammad believed that Jews and Christians ("People of the Book") worshipped the same god as Muslims. Different people just had different din or, way of life, moral law. He was actually greatly perplexed when Jews and Christians would preach that their religion was the only true religion. Muhammad believed "it was idolatry to take pride in belonging to a particular religious tradition rather than concentrating on Allah himself." And to him, we were all related anyway, all descendants of Abraham. For sure the Islam of today is different than a lot of what Muhammad preached, just as Christianity has evolved from the time of Jesus.

It's an interesting read.

Along the same vein, I'm next going to read a book called The Lost Message of Jesus by Steven Chalke for a Sunday school class I'm going to help lead in the fall. From what a hear, the book is about looking at the teachings of Jesus outside of our Western bifocals. I'm excited. I'll let you know how it goes.

And remember how at the beginning of this post I said I was going to see where today takes me? Well, it looks like it's going to take me to Oklahoma! I'm going there with my Momma soon to see my new baby cousin, Mac. Mac Carmack. These plans were formed as this post was being written. It is a very exciting month in the life of my family, let me tell ya.

I know it hasn't even been 24 hours, but here I am again. I just have things that I want to say.

I really enjoyed church this morning. I don't quite know where that came from, I have been having trouble enjoying church lately. Today I really listened. This morning Lee talked about the importance of believing in something bigger than yourself (which is funny, because that is what my last post was about). "You'll never find the true significance of life until you find something that is more important that you." That is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. This past year I have lived more by the motto--if its right for you, its right. But I'm changing my mind (and ah man, this is in writing. The means it's real, right Melyssa?). I think what's right goes beyond what I think. It goes beyond me. There is right outside of myself. We are apart of a bigger story, written and directed by a god of love. A god who just wants us to love each other. To stop all this other stuff and love each other. To stop looking in the mirror and love each other. And God knows we can't do it without him, because he is love. We can't know him without loving each other. It's just impossible.

That's what I've been thinking about.

And Lee shared a poem. So I'll share it with you (wee! two poems in a row!)

Poem:"George Gray"
I have studied many times
The marble which was chiseled for me--
A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor.
In truth it pictures not my destination
But my life.
For love was offered me and I shrank from its disillusionment;
Sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid;
Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life.
And now I know that we must lift the sail
And catch the winds of destiny
Wherever they drive the boat.
To put meaning in one's life may end in madness,
But life without meaning is the torture
Of restlessness and vague desire--
It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid.
by Edgar Lee Masters

I bet Lee shared it cause his middle name is Lee. Heh.

I'm glad I have these few weeks after the farm and before school so I can debrief with myself.

A couple weeks ago we had a poetry night at the farm. We sat outside on a Sunday evening, sharing bread, cheese, wine, and poems-original and not.

Samson, an intern from Ghana, shared a poem he had written. I really appreciated his poem, so I asked for a copy of it:

WHAT DO YOU STAND FOR
It is dangerous not to have what you stand for
Whether it is food or drink
Have what you stand for
Whether it is religious or intellectual belief
Have what you stand for
Whether it is singleness or marriage
Have what you stand for
Whether it is about life or death
Have what you stand for

Develop a conviction not just an opinion
Opinion is what you hold
But conviction is something that holds you
You will argue about your opinion
But you will be ready to suffer for your conviction & if necessary die for it.
Your conviction might not make you popular
Your conviction might even earn you undesirable names
So should that make you succumb?
No. Never
Develop a conviction
What do you stand for?
For if you do not stand for anything
You will fall for anything

Convictions are hard to come by nowadays. I'm in the process of developing my own. I'm reading Muhammah: A Prophet For Our Time to better understand others' convictions.

So that's that.