I know it hasn't even been 24 hours, but here I am again. I just have things that I want to say.

I really enjoyed church this morning. I don't quite know where that came from, I have been having trouble enjoying church lately. Today I really listened. This morning Lee talked about the importance of believing in something bigger than yourself (which is funny, because that is what my last post was about). "You'll never find the true significance of life until you find something that is more important that you." That is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. This past year I have lived more by the motto--if its right for you, its right. But I'm changing my mind (and ah man, this is in writing. The means it's real, right Melyssa?). I think what's right goes beyond what I think. It goes beyond me. There is right outside of myself. We are apart of a bigger story, written and directed by a god of love. A god who just wants us to love each other. To stop all this other stuff and love each other. To stop looking in the mirror and love each other. And God knows we can't do it without him, because he is love. We can't know him without loving each other. It's just impossible.

That's what I've been thinking about.

And Lee shared a poem. So I'll share it with you (wee! two poems in a row!)

Poem:"George Gray"
I have studied many times
The marble which was chiseled for me--
A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor.
In truth it pictures not my destination
But my life.
For love was offered me and I shrank from its disillusionment;
Sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid;
Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life.
And now I know that we must lift the sail
And catch the winds of destiny
Wherever they drive the boat.
To put meaning in one's life may end in madness,
But life without meaning is the torture
Of restlessness and vague desire--
It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid.
by Edgar Lee Masters

I bet Lee shared it cause his middle name is Lee. Heh.

I'm glad I have these few weeks after the farm and before school so I can debrief with myself.

A couple weeks ago we had a poetry night at the farm. We sat outside on a Sunday evening, sharing bread, cheese, wine, and poems-original and not.

Samson, an intern from Ghana, shared a poem he had written. I really appreciated his poem, so I asked for a copy of it:

WHAT DO YOU STAND FOR
It is dangerous not to have what you stand for
Whether it is food or drink
Have what you stand for
Whether it is religious or intellectual belief
Have what you stand for
Whether it is singleness or marriage
Have what you stand for
Whether it is about life or death
Have what you stand for

Develop a conviction not just an opinion
Opinion is what you hold
But conviction is something that holds you
You will argue about your opinion
But you will be ready to suffer for your conviction & if necessary die for it.
Your conviction might not make you popular
Your conviction might even earn you undesirable names
So should that make you succumb?
No. Never
Develop a conviction
What do you stand for?
For if you do not stand for anything
You will fall for anything

Convictions are hard to come by nowadays. I'm in the process of developing my own. I'm reading Muhammah: A Prophet For Our Time to better understand others' convictions.

So that's that.