Our loft is all Christmas-ed out right now. It's rather merry. I'm enjoying it. And this time next week classes will be over and we all will be merrily studying for finals. Actually, we will probably be sleeping. And this time in two weeks I will either be already home or will be about to go home.

Sometimes its just so hard to live today.

I read this tonight in [Re]Understanding Prayer by Kyle Lake and thought you might want to too.

"Henri Nouwen said that when prayer becomes a way of life for you, it does not mean that you think about God in contrast to thinking about other things, or that you spend time with God instead of spending time with other people. Rather, it means to think and live in the presence of God. As soon as we begin to divide our thoughts into thoughts about God and thoughts about people and events, we remove God from our daily life and put Him in a pious little niche where we can think pious thoughts and experience pious feelings. Our instruction in 1 Thessalonians 5, 'pray without ceasing,' then finds new meaning."

It reminds me of a thing we did one Wednesday night last semester at UBC. We were in the midst of a series about the fruits of the spirit, and that night we were talking about peace. We walked into the room all quiet-like and instead of listening to someone talk, read words on a screen. We were told to take a piece of paper that had been given to us and write on it all the things that had been stressing us that week. Then, instead of throwing the paper away or setting it on fire, we were told to just bring those things to God. That when we pray, not to clear our minds of all distractions and focus only on God, but to bring all that stuff to God, letting God give us peace in everything, not just in "a pious little niche" of our lives.

That's cool. So is the name "Henri" with an "i."

Whoa, so I just googled Kyle's name and found it on Wikipedia. Interesting.

The printer I use at home doesn't print in color. So I'm printing the works of art that I need to study for my art history quiz without color, and making flashcards out of them. I'm doing this so I can memorize the names, artists, periods, dates, and countries of origins of said works and so be successful on my quiz next week. As I was looking at my freshly printed page of black and white pieces of artwork, the thought occurred to me that I hope this is not what art becomes to me-black and white-names, artists, periods, dates, and countries of origins. Colorless. Either knowing a piece's artist, period, origin, the names of the various techniques used, why it was made, either knowing all that will make it more beautiful, because I will understand its complexity, or less beautiful, because I will understand its complexity. Will taking away the mystery take away some of the beauty? I guess it depends on the work of art. It's like with my brother and music. Music that is kind of simple, like most pop music, Will doesn't really like because the it is so trite and not original and simple. Because he understands music more than me, some of it is less beautiful, because he sees it for what it really is. For that reason he can't really enjoy, say, Ashlee Simpson. But at the same time he can more fully enjoy music than I can, because when he finds something really good, he can really appreciate it, because he understands it. He comprehends its beauty.

So I guess I'm just learning how to appreciate art.

It's cool how writing out stuff can help one work things out in one's mind. Like the whole last part of that paragraph I didn't think about until I started writing it. The first part, the part about art becoming just names and dates to me, I planned on writing, but not the rest. It kind of just pooped out of my fingers.

Oh, and happy Thanksgiving.

I worked on a house with Habitat this morning and it was such fun. Before, I was doing Habitat for Humanity mainly just to feel good about myself. This semester I wanted to get involved in something, and I felt like it should be something service oriented, so Habitat seemed like a nice fit. I'd go to meetings and work on some weekends, but never really enjoyed myself, was just doing it to be a good person and all that that entails. But this morning was different, I don't know why. One thing I really enjoyed about it was I worked a lot with non Baylor people. I don't realize how much of a bubble I'm in until I step outside of it. Really, the only people I spend time with are people who are connected with Baylor. Even at church, pretty much everyone goes/graduated from Baylor. And that's great, I love Baylor people, but its good to step out of that and spend time with people or are totally different from me. Perhaps build a house with them every once and awhile. I also worked harder than usual. I used to be really tentative around the site, not wanting to do anything wrong and make myself look foolish. I kind of got over that today and just got my hands dirty. It was fun.

The only bad part is I whacked my left thumb pretty bad with a hammer. I have a sizable blood blister that formed next to my nail, and I can tell that under my nail polish, my nail is purple. Yes yes, sympathy is welcome.

Oreo's taste really good with peanut butter, I found out today. Really really.

In other news, I really don't like the tendency girls' have to obtain their value from boys. We all do it and it doesn't even make sense. Where does it come from? I partially blame chick flicks in which a girl is miserable and less-than until she finds the man of her dreams, such as in Bridget Jones and Sex and the City. Even in movies that I love, like "Garden State," the main characters are lost in life without their significant other. As sweet as that looks and sounds, its unhealthy. And annoying. I'm in a jaded mood today.

So my nails are red now. Bright red. I haven't painted my nails in awhile. I've recently been in this anti-doing-my-hair-or-painting-my-nails-or-tanning-or-doing-anything-girly phase. I've been wearing a lot less pink as well. But I now think its ok to be girly...every once in awhile.

This whole red-nails-thing will take some getting used to.

I'm in Lubbock right now. Sic 'em Lubbock!

We stopped in Dublin and had Dr. Pepper floats.

That is all.

"It’s too bad prayer comes bundled in a package of 'spiritual disciplines.' Really, we should see prayer as a spiritual privilege. We don’t do it as a callisthenic exercise to gain points with God; we do it, because it is good for us in every way. I quote the author Roberta Bondi who says so many people worry about “doing it right.” Hey, if you’re praying, you’re doing it right."

Philip Yancey in Relevant interview.

I don't understand prayer. I'd expand, but I have to go to class.

I bought some granola bars today that have coffee in them and taste like coffee. I'm fascinated, and pleased. I like coffee, and I like granola bars. I found them whilst spending two hours at WalMart today. I was getting my oil changed, and there were lots of cars in front of me. But now, finally, its changed. I've been meaning to do this since July. While at WalMart, I saw a woman walking around dressed up like a ladybug. Just walking around, like it's totally normal to wear a big red shirt with black polka dots, wings, and glittery fake eyelashes (I, for one, didnt even know lady bugs had eyelashes, let alone glittery ones. ) I was a bit perplexed, but then remembered that its Halloween. They were playing the Ellen Degenerus (sp?) show in the waiting area and everyone in the audience had on costumes as well. They all looked pretty ridiculous. But I guess that's the point of Halloween, and to eat candy and cupcakes with orange icing. Speaking of, they were giving out free Halloween cake in the SUB today at lunch. It had orange icing. That was pretty exciting.

I'm not really feeling it this year though, Halloween. I think its mostly fun for little kids, parents of little kids, and people who party. I'm none of those.

I forgot to change my watch for Daylight Saving's and so this whole time, I've been thinking its almost four. I have to do something at four, and so was preparing myself to get ready to go. Then I picked up my phone and saw that it was 2:30, not 3:30. "Oh yes," I remembered, "I forgot to change my watch." And then I got really excited because I had a whole nother hour! (is "nother" really a word?....my widget dictionary couldn't find it) I feel like my day just grew by an hour. It's marvelous.

I have an art history exam tomorrow. I haven't really studied that much for it yet. I feel like I should be more concerned, but really, I'm not. I mean yeah, I'll study, but I'm not freaking out....I feel like I freak out far much less than I should ("far much less"? That's awkward). I always see my friends freaking out about some such test or paper or another, but I never really do. Hm. And like yesterday, at the game, all my friends were in a frenzy, and I wasn't really. It's not that I didn't care, I wanted to win, but I didn't get that worked up about it. Maybe I just dont have a soul.

I'm pretty dang excited about this extra hour though.

So I just did some blog surfing, and now I feel like a totally inadequate blogger. I read all these blogs about life and beauty and loss and theology and poetic crap and I write about.....new shoes? The chicken ceaser salad I had for lunch? (I had one for lunch yesterday actually, from Quiznos in the SUB. That's also when I came to the realization that I have only three dining dollars left...I guess I won't be having Quiznos tomorrow...)

Bah. Who am I writing this for anyways? I don't know anymore. But it's entertaining so I'll just keep doing it. And I don't write about "life and beauty and loss and theology and poetic crap" because I feel so fake when I do. Like I'm trying so hard to be profound and smart. I'd rather write about new shoes and just be me, thank you.

I wouldn't have anything original to say anyway. Like Derek Webb says "I am like a mockingbird, I've got now new song to sing. I am like an amplifier, I just tell you what I've heard.." Preach it Derek. (I like refering to celebrities by their first names. It makes me feel like we're best friends.) Why does Derek have two b's in his last name? How pretentious.

I wonder who reads this that I don't know about. I wonder if I have a stalker. That'd be awesome. Hey, if you're reading this now, leave a comment and just say "macaroni." Nothing else, just "macaroni." You don't have to say you're name, just "macaroni." This isn't just for my stalker, this is for everyone

What if nobody says macaroni? I'd be so depressed.

That's weird. I don't remember making my bed, but I just looked over my shoulder, and there it was, made. I think that is what one calls a habit.

I think there is beauty in a good routine. Like waking up early, making coffee, and eating breafast whilst reading a good book. Then hopping in the shower (well, not literally. That could be dangerous. One could trip). Then making one's bed. Then finishing up whatever work one needs to do before going to class. Oh yeah, and sometime in there putting clothes on.

Clothes are so overrated though. I would rather just spend all day in my bath robe. I don't know if that is what everyone else would rather me do though...

I guess I'll put on clothes now.

This year I've come to like coffee, asian food, and salads. It's been quite a pivotal year. I had a chicken ceaser salad for lunch today at Jason's. It was rather statisfying, but there was too much chicken.

Sometimes, on the weekends, I forget that I have class, or it just feels like a dream. It's weird, cause it's only been two days since I've been to class, not a like a month. But it kind of feels that way. But then Sunday rolls around and I start having to do homework, and I remember.

I don't know if any of that made since. I mean sense.

It's interesting how one can know a song and not really pay attention to the lyrics. Like this past week, I discovered some lyrics I like in a Jack Johnson song that I've been listening to for about two years... "...So I was late for class, I locked my bike to yours, It wasn't hard to find, you painted flowers on, I guess that I was afraid that if you rolled away, You might not roll back my direction really soon..." I think that's cute, but I've never noticed it before.

I have no idea what I'm going to put on the title line of this entry. There's no unity, just random thoughts. Sometimes that empty 'title' box can be pretty intimidating.

I got my Gurkees in the mail today! I'm pretty dang excited about it, so I decided to take a picture for you.

"Gurkee's® Sandals are very unique 'Jesus sandals' made from carpet fiber that is spun and heat welded together. They are extremely comfortable and incredibly durable. Not only are they salt water and chlorine resistant, but they are machine washable! They are not just sandals, but an experience that will take you 'Beyond Barefoot!'
....Beyond Barefoot, It's a State of Mind. Remember that hot summer day with the sun pounding down and that smell of coconut tanning oil in the air? Or that afternoon with the top down, hair blowing in the breeze on that Jeep ride over the pass? That refreshing feeling of coming up for air after jumping in the water on that 100-plus degree day. It's that feeling, that state of mind... Kind of like a vacation that never ends."

My feet are on a vacation that never ends.

This is really nice. I'm the only one at my appartamento right now (which doesn't happen a lot, because there are six of us), I have Sufjan playing softly over the surround sound, a bowl of Ramen at my side, and some light Anthropology reading to do. Mm. And I went running not too long ago, so I guess I'm still a little happy from all the endorphins. Gotta love those.

It's been a good day, all in all. I foresee that it will be a good week. The school part of it is already halfway through, seeing as how we have Friday off. I'm going camping con miei amici nel Arkansas. I love road trips and I enjoy camping, so it should be a buon weekend. It'll be nice to just get away be outside.

According to Ambassador Youth what I'm doing right now is apparently evil.

"Should teenagers and others in the Church express themselves to the world through blogs? Because of the obvious dangers; the clear biblical principles that apply; the fact that it gives one a voice; that it is almost always idle words; that teens often do not think before they do; that it is acting out of boredom; and it is filled with appearances of evil—blogging is simply not to be done in the Church. It should be clear that it is unnecessary and in fact dangerous on many levels.
Let me emphasize that no one—including adults—should have a blog or personal website (unless it is for legitimate business purposes). . . .Blogging has become a socially accepted practice—just as are dating seriously too young, underage drinking and general misbehaving. But just because someone else 'jumps off the cliff' does not mean you should do the same."

I'm warned.

I feel so fresh and so clean clean. I need to take showers at night more often. In the morning, one is in a hurry and can't fully appreciate the fresh feeling. But at night, all you have is time. Well, not always. Really, just right now. I have not much homework and plenty of time to enjoy my freshness. Like freshly shaven legs. Yum.

And plenty of time to write pointless blog entries.

That's all I have to say really.

And my tongue is burnt.

Ho fatto una doccia means "I took a shower." Literally it means, "I did a shower."

I really like the song "Stuck in a Moment" by U2. I think that's what its called. I'm at Common Grounds right now studio italiano, and the aforementioned song is playing (i love using that word! aforementioned. mi piace.) I just wanted to express that I liked it, and I'm by myself, so I thought I'd tell you.

Ho l'esame di italiano domani. Mamma mia!

I love living here with these girls. We all* just got home from church, changed into our sweats, made coffee, and are now studying. It's beautiful.

*By "we all" I mean three of the six of us. It just sounds better to say "we all." This is the first time I've used a footnote here. It's pretty fun. I feel like David Crowder. In his books he has lots of footnotes, sometimes with just random commentary. It's fun. I've just starting reading him and Mike Hogan's new book actually (I don't know that that's proper grammar. His and Mike Hogan's new book? Yeah, I think that's better), Everybody Wants to go to Heaven but Nobody wants to Die. So I'm reading that and The Great Divorce. Preoccupation with death, do I have? And it's especially ironic that I started reading the former book last Sunday, because of events that have occurred this week. Death is everywhere really. I know I sound really morbid and Emily Dickens-ish, but it's just something I've noticed recently. We're all just around the corner from it, we've all lost someone(s) because of it (yes, I know "someones" is not a word) or know people who have, but it's not often we talk about it. Not that that's a bad thing, I think it would maybe a little unhealthy if death occupied the majority of our conversations. I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm just kind of talking. Not even talking really, typing. Really, I'm just not studying. That's what this is: me not studying. I'll do that now. Studying, I mean.

It's interesting how my footnote is longer than my actual entry.